illtema

I went to the Museum of Latin American Art (MOLAA) in Long Beach, California, this past July and these are some pieces that stood out to me. Props to the museum allowing pictures to be taken. I mean I would’ve snuck these flicks anyways. Not telling you who the artists are or the names of the pieces so, get your google on or call the KGB. Or better yet research the museum online. There, I pointed you in the right direction, wasn’t that nice?

Art

Graffiti done well has always been like a colorful Krylon labyrinth to me. So much goes into making such a complicated image have a simple visual appeal.

Whoever finds these Themo masterpieces in North Jersey, takes a pic and emails it to reggie at illtema dot com wins a sick tee shirt. Happy Hunting.

Art

There was a rumor going around in the late 90’s that Puffy strong-armed Wendy’s into using Biggie Smalls the rapper as a marketing engine for their portion sizes. These overdue tees bring that rumor to life.

Go to West NYC for more info.

Art

RIP Christopher Wallace. They should’ve made a movie about Biggie’s lines, not his life. Here I break down my favorite song by him “Unbelievable.”

Verse one:

Live from Bedford-Stuyvesant, the livest one.
Representing BK to the fullest.

(Hip Hop was the first genre where being proud of where you come from is as important as other factors like street credibility. Everybody knew Biggie was from Brooklyn. Vanilla Ice is a prime example of where “not keeping it real” went wrong. He could’ve had a career if he told us where he was really from. I’m kidding.)

Gats I pull it. Bastards ducking when BIG be bucking.
Chickenheads be clucking in my bathroom fucking.

(Gunplay is a Rap staple and the way he describes his shooting is dope; you can actually visualize it. And then he follows that with an ill line. One of the illest of that decade. “Chickenhead” is a funny word on its own but the way he formats the line is really clever. It’s definitely a line you don’t forget. You say it along with the song and laugh.)

It ain’t nothing. They know Big be handling.
With the Mack in the Ac’ door paneling.

(Here he elaborates on how he gets the chicks. Essentially they like him because he’s a bad dude; they know he totes guns, and he conceals them in his car door. That’s James Bond swag he’s referencing, but in a 90’s context. Bananas. Plus Acura Legends were choice cars for low to mid-level drug dealers in the Tri-State Area back then. This line birthed Big Pun’s “Packing the Mack in the back of the Ac’”)

Damaging MC’s. Oxygen, they can’t breathe.
Mad tricks up the sleeve.

(Sick word play here. Again very visual. You can see someone reaching for an oxygen mask in fright. He’s very relative with his lyrics. It’s like we ask how he damages MC’s and he answers “I’m a magician.” Retarded.)

Wear boxers so my dick can breathe
Breeze through in the Q-.45 by my side, lyrical high

(This first line really funny. Especially following the last one. Nobody likes tighty-whities. Conceptually this whole group of lines translates that he’s nimble and smooth. It’s like Ali’s “Float like a butterfly.” He’s saying “I’m light on my toes, but I’m like the wind. I’m air and I’ll take yours away.” The Infiniti car model (Q-45) reference combined with the gun model (.45) is sick, and he toots his own horn by adding in “lyrical high.” He’s saying “I actually like that line. Yeah, I just said that. I’m nice.”)

And those that rushes my clutches get put on crutches.
Get smoked like Dutches, from the master.
Hate to blast you, but I have to.

(Excellent. His syllables have rhythm just written. That’s how you know you can rap. If your words are creatively saying something and you can deliver them with charisma, you can Rap.)

You see I smoke a lot.
Your rhymes is played out like Kwame,
and them fucking polka dots.
Who rocks the spot? Biggie!
You know how the weed go, unbelievable.

(Double entendre here with “smoking.” Smoke meaning “smoke you” as in kill you, and then smoke weed, because the end states that he smokes the best weed. So he in a way says that he’s only shooting you because he’s satisfying a sick hunger like a serial killer. Ruthlessly witty. Poor Kwame. Pure infamy here. Forever and ever he’ll only be remembered as a funny reference in a Biggie line. He sure did love polka dots. He wore some outrageous (TLC-outrageous) get-ups. Google him.)

Verse Two:

B-I-G, G-I-E, A-K-A, B-I-G.
Get it? Biggie.

(This is related to his opening line in the first verse where he’s talking about where he’s from. Now he’s telling us who he is. He was very cool here.)

Also known as ‘The Bon Appetit.’
Rappers can’t sleep, need sleeping. Big keep creeping.
Bullets: Heat-seeking. Casualties need treating.
Dumb rappers need teaching.

(This is just plain skill and talent. I’m also known as “very delicious and flavorful.” I’m so good rappers are losing sleep over me. Still I go to work and what I have is the best there is. It will find you and hurt you. Matter of fact, there are rappers I already hurt and they need medical attention. I did it for their own good. LUDICROUS.)

Lesson A: Don’t fuck with B-I.
That’s that, “Oh I,
thought he was wack.”
Oh come come now. Why y’all so dumb now?

(Complex, and really over the top, but so chiseled. That’s real poetry right there. He’s showing off. He’s flexing.)

Hunt me or be hunted.
I got three hundred and fifty-seven ways
To simmer-sautee.
I’m the winner all day.
Lights get dimmer down Biggie’s hallway.

(Great line about hunting, from the killing to the cooking. And the “get me before I get you, following the line about knowing better than to step to him. Great .357 gun model metaphor here and horror movie nod with the lights dimming in a dark hallway.)

My forte causes Caucasians to say “He sounds demented.”
Car, weed-scented.
If I said it, I meant it.
Bite my tongue for no-one.
Call me evil, or unbelievable.

(Straight rhyming prowess. No other way to put it.)

Verse Three:

Buck shots out the sun roof of Lexus coupes
Leave no witnesses. What you think this is?
Ain’t no amateurs here, I damage and tear.
MC’s fear me, they’re too near not to hear me

(Fun speech, and again the scene is practically in front of your eyes. This is a stanza that makes me say, “wow, he just said all that and it rhymed.” Crazy.)

Clearly, I’m the triple beam dream.
One thousand grams of uncut, to the gut.
It seems fucked up, the way I touched up your grill.
Trying to play gorilla, when you ain’t no killer.

(Bravado rap in this case. I’m what’s known as “graduating from eightballs to Kilos.” I represent that sense of accomplishment. I laced you pretty badly too. You didn’t lose too many teeth did you? It’s a Zoo out here you can’t half-step. If you’re not a lion or bear, go run with the zebras and gazelles.)

The gat’s by your liver; your upper lip quiver.
Get ready to die. Tell God I said “Hi.”
And throw down some ice, for the nicest MC.
Niggas know the estilo, unbelievable.

(Get ready to die. Tell God I said, “Hi,” is official, like the line before it. It’s crystal-clear. Then he goes on to say well while you’re at it give up the jewels, just cause I’m dope on the mic. Everyone knows I’m unbelievable. That’s raw.)

Art

A 66 year old Chilean man was caught yesterday in Spain trying to smuggle Cocaine in the form of a cast.

It makes me wonder.

Ever wish you had a company where your Research and Development department’s budget was unlimited? Ever wanted to work for a company that was okay with you failing, but every little success paid astounding dividends?

If this is what you seek, you ought to join the drug trade.

No other economic arena routinely fails in the ingenuity department, yet continues to thrive financially.

Allow me to illustrate what I mean.

1. Mules–Some will get caught, but most will make it through. The reward is too juicy not to take the risk. And with so much product and money to throw around what’s a few ten thousands?

I love the show “Locked Up Abroad” on the National Geographic channel because it tells the stories of people who got caught smuggling drugs in foreign countries. The thing is the authorities don’t bust people regularly. They’re lucky to catch people. So these drug dealers freely take chances by having (several) people smuggle drugs and as shown by this futile on going war on drugs they clearly have a success rate that’s better than their failure rate.

2. Manufacturing — It’s widely known that Cocaine can be processed into a paste/clay-like substance making it possible to take on the forms of common items like toys, candy, jewelery and sculptures.

“They caught the girl with the fake candy.”
“How?”
“She was being searched. Some of the pieces of candy broke and the customs agent wanted to try it, so the girl let her. The customs agent had a heart attack. A second one came and tried it, same thing happened. That’s when they knew it wasn’t candy.”

3. Anything is fair game

If you brainstormed a list of ways to get drugs into foreign countries using humans flying on commercial airlines, your most absurd suggestions would actually make it to the testing phase.

“Why don’t we try to make cocaine makeup?”
“Ladies powdering their noses. I like that.”

“Deodorant.”
“Smells like success.”

“Detergent.”
“Helps with the laundering.”

“Lotion.”
“Easier to get it in.”

“Dead babies.”
“The live ones make too much noise. Way too suspicious.”

“A cast.”
“That’s my kind of broken promise.”

And that’s only what I came up with. There are way more creative people actually working on this, coming up with ideas that wipe mine off the board.

What a weird job market that has to be for chemists, inventors and designers in countries like Peru, Bolivia and Colombia. You have the chance to be set for life, always work with no budget and basically make any idea you want feasibly come to life. The only problem is you can only use one ingredient.

What would you do?

Art, Current Events, Design